tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
