According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This toilet bowl is my home.
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