I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
