I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Pooping to opera.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize