Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
