waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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