to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you never un-have a 4some
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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