I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
