Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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