I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
