You made me cry and you don't even care
Screwed.edu
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
