Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
