it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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