Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
