So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
