Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
