So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
