she woke up with a sticky ear
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
