it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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