I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
