I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i drank out of a bidet.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
