no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
