i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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