We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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