Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize