So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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