he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
