Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
