I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
