Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
