she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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