Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
