drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
