I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
