I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
