office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
