Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
how drunk are you?
Several
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
