Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
