No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
