Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
