I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
