Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
