lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
