Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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