I think I am morally bankrupt
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
