Your face is a jimmy john
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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