it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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