When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
