Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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