my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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