Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
