How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
