We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
