One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
