Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize