How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
