Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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