How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
