Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
