I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
