3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
