I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
