I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
