just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
