I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i dont even know how to be here
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
