I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
